Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
