Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
