all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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