I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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