my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
