they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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