do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
