can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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