Duck Duck Cougar?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
