If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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