I CAN MOONWALK!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
