Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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