franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
