I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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