Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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