At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well you can't waste a boner
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize