Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
