i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
