theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No subtext here. People are naked.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Randomize
