True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
