just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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