I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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