If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
