I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
