Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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