dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
