I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
