he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
