Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
