Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
