Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
