so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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