Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
