We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
