We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
