i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
