I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
