Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
