census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
