New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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