No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
