There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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