can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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