Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The struggles of a small town man whore
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
