As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
