I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
