so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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