Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize