I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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