I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
where am i from again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
