Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
