I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
