Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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