I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize