Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
