Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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