I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize