He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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