You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
