Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
