am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
