I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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