is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
