I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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