garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm like, not good at living.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
