sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
